There comes a time in a Kevin Howley’s…week… when he must jar common perception. And what is this common perception you ask? Well, it’s simple, that he’s an intelligent human being! This ladies and gentlemen, is an incident I like to call “Sir, that’s your room key .”
October’s chill had finally hit Kent State on this morning. Dampness had left the air, and only the cold blank stare of Mother Nature was left. This morning was no ordinary morning, oh no! I woke up with a mission: I wanted a bagel sandwich. I dragged my lumbering body out of bed at the ungodly hour of 11:00 AM and braved Kent’s arctic climate. After several grueling minutes of scaling the grey sidewalks I arrived at Rosie’s, our twenty-four hour diner. After waiting in line for what seemed like an eternity in math class, I finally made it to the automated order machine. The showdown was set: Man with boarding school education vs. Machine! I selected the outline to my delicious sandwich: sausage, egg, and cheese. I slid my card through the machine…but nothing happened. INVALID CARD read the insubordinate heap of waste. Time and time again, INVALID CARD. The battle was fierce, I threw every in every expletive known to man, and even created a few of my own. After much frustration I called an employee over, “EXCUSE ME! This machine is not working!” And do you know what that bastard replied? “Sir, that’s because you’re using your room key.” And that my friends, is how I show the world that while I may appear intelligent I’M STILL KEVIN!
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